Description
💌 “A Card So Fabulous, You’ll Almost Look Like You Care”
(Single. Vertical. One Size Fits Most Emotional Situations.)
Description:
Need to say something but can’t be bothered to figure out what? This card does all the emotional heavy lifting while you sit there looking generous and well-adjusted. Printed in retina-searing vibrant colors on premium 270gsm paper (yes, it’s fancy), this vertical card delivers maximum visual impact with minimal emotional investment.
Double-sided? Obviously. You paid for both sides, and we're not monsters. Whether it’s a birthday, a holiday, or just one of those “I guess I should say something” days, this card is your snappy, sarcastic solution. And don’t worry—it comes with an envelope, because handing someone a raw card is a whole different kind of rude.
What You Get (Besides Questionable Praise):
-
1 vertical greeting card (so you can say “I remembered!” even if you didn’t)
-
Size: One-size-fits-your-regret
-
Paper: Premium 270gsm white cardstock, durable enough to survive emotional rejection
-
Finish: Glossy, matte, or whatever helps you fake sincerity better
-
Printing: Double-sided—because we like to overdo it
-
1 envelope included for mailing, or pretending you're a functioning adult
Care Instructions:
Dust gently from the center outward. Or don’t. It’s a card, not a Fabergé egg.
