Description
🎉 “One Card to Guilt Them All”
(Vertical. One Size. Because Emotionally Expressive Isn’t Your Brand.)
Description:
Whether you're celebrating a birthday, faking holiday cheer, or just trying to look like you care without actually trying—this single card has you covered. Bursting with vibrant colors that practically scream "I’m better than your other friends", it’s printed on thick, 270gsm white paper strong enough to support all the weight of your passive-aggressive love.
The design? Double-sided. Because why settle for one side of sarcasm when you can hit 'em with two. It fits any occasion—from heartfelt to half-hearted. And yes, it comes with an envelope. You’re welcome.
What You Get (Besides Praise You Don’t Deserve):
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1 gloriously vertical greeting card (aka a rectangle of feelings)
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Size: One size to awkwardly fit all your emotional needs
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Paper: Premium 270gsm—luxurious enough to pretend you have taste
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Printing: Double-sided, double trouble
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Finish: Choose what makes you feel the least dead inside
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1 envelope included, so you don’t hand it over like a savage
Care Instructions:
Gently wipe with a soft, clean cloth—from the center outward—like you're pretending this card wasn’t at the bottom of your drawer for two months.
