Description
✉️ Send a Card. Pretend You Have Your Life Together.
Funny Vertical Greeting Cards for When You Care Just Enough
Interrupt someone’s day with style and sarcasm using our snarky vertical greeting cards. Perfect for every occasion—especially the ones you remembered 5 minutes ago—these cards scream, “I put thought into this!” while you sip wine and wing it. Whether it’s a birthday, a breakup, or a guilt-trip wrapped in glitter, our cards let you fake sincerity without breaking a sweat (or a nail).
Crafted for people who enjoy connection but not actual emotions, these cards help you look thoughtful while staying delightfully detached. Think of them as little paper lies—wrapped in premium cardstock and bold colors.
💌 What’s Inside (Metaphorically Speaking):
-
Vertical design – because horizontal is too mainstream for your chaotic energy.
-
270gsm premium uncoated paper – thick enough to hide your inner turmoil.
-
Slight front cover overlap – gives “I definitely didn’t panic-buy this.”
-
Available in four sizes and multiple finishes – glossy, matte, and everything in between, just like your personality.
-
Vibrant color printing – so loud it practically demands a “Wow, where’d you get this?”
-
Includes matching envelopes – because sending cards naked is a federal offense (probably).
📮 Great For:
-
Birthdays you remembered too late
-
Holidays you don’t even celebrate
-
Passive-aggressive debt reminders
-
Breakups, reunions, or revenge thank-yous
-
Random “I exist and so do you” moments
🧼 Card Care (If You're Faking Class):
Use a clean, dry cloth to gently wipe from the center outward—just like how you slowly disassociate at family dinners. Or shake it and move on. It’s a card, not a Fabergé egg.
