Description
🖕 Funny Vertical Greeting Cards – Bold, Sarcastic & Barely Emotionally Available
Add a splash of joy, a pinch of sass, and a whole lot of “OMG, did they seriously send that?” with our vertical snark-packed greeting cards. These are not your grandma’s dainty notes—unless your grandma’s savage. Designed for birthdays, breakups, holidays, or any random Tuesday when passive-aggressive affection feels right.
Whether you’re celebrating life’s big wins or someone’s mediocre survival of adulthood, these vibrant vertical cards deliver eye-roll-worthy wit with just enough warmth to stay off the blacklist.
💥 What You’re Actually Getting:
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Premium vertical greeting cards in a design that stands tall—literally and emotionally.
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Bold AF full-color printing because subtlety is overrated.
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270gsm heavyweight paper that feels fancy enough to say, “I made an effort,” even if you didn’t.
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Slight front overlap gives that polished, “I’m an adult and totally had this together” look.
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Four size options and finish choices because no celebration—or sarcasm—is one-size-fits-all.
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Matching envelopes included, because sending naked cards is a cry for help.
💌 Perfect For:
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Birthdays, holidays, new jobs, breakups, pet adoptions, or ‘just because I’m chaotic’ vibes
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Friends who deserve to laugh.
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Coworkers who won't report you to HR.
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Family members you kinda like.
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Anyone who deserves sarcasm with a bow on it.
🧽 Card Care (Yes, This Is a Thing):
Use a soft, clean, dry cloth to dust from the center outward like you’re polishing your emotional damage. Or just shake it. It’s a greeting card, not a Fabergé egg, Karen.
