Introduction

If you're new here, Mister is a cat. But not just any cat, he’s a 17-pound menace with the soul of a retired mob boss and the scratching habits of a caffeine-addicted raccoon. Lately, we noticed Mister’s “chonky energy” hitting critical mass. His hobbies include sleeping on laptops, judging everyone, and full-contact destruction of anything vaguely “soft and carpeted”. So, it was time for an intervention.

1. New Diet? Enter: Kitty Nibbles

We swapped out his “whatever scraps he steals” diet for our Snarky Pets Kitty Nibbles — salmon-flavored, freeze-dried magic made from only five ingredients. No weird filler. No sketchy stuff.

2. Goodbye Carpeted Cat House. Hello Mister’s Favorite Scratcher Hideaway.

Mister destroyed his last cat condo like it owed him money. Carpet chunks. Shredded corners. $90 down the drain. Now he’s living large in this cardboard cat cave: affordable, durable, recyclable, and replaceable when he inevitably annihilates it. It’s basically his little cardboard fortress of attitude.

3. And For the Record... the Scratching Has Been Handled

We also upgraded his rage corner with the Timmy the Cat’s Scratch Box, a chonky cardboard scratcher that comes with two backup pads and no assembly required. Because the last thing I need is IKEA instructions for my cat.

4. The Bottom Line

If your cat is part gremlin, part loaf, and 100% chonk — a new snack + scratch combo might be the glow-up they didn’t know they needed. Mister’s still sassy, still thicc, but now he snacks clean, sleeps cozy, and only destroys what we expect him to.

TL;DR:

• 🐟 Treat: Salmon Kitty Nibbles = Only 5 ingredients, big flavor
• 🏠 House: Mister’s Favorite Cardboard Cave = Big chonk energy
• 📦 Scratch Box: No-Assembly Claw Saver = Lives longer than my willpower